Make a wish, Make it grand,Make it big as you can stand. Make it loud, Make it strong,Make it up as you go along.
Make a difference, Make your mark,Make your own creative spark. Make a statement, Make it true, Make it from the heart of you.
Monday, January 22, 2007
BUSINESS JOKE
Job Interview Question
You are driving along in your car on a wild, stormy night. You pass by a bus stop, and you see three people waiting for the bus:
1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.
2. An old friend who once saved your life.
3. The perfect man (or) woman you have been dreaming about.
Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing that therecould only be one passenger in your car. Think before you continue reading. This is a moral/ethical dilemmathat was once actually used as part of a job application. You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to die, and thus you should save her first; or you could take the old friend because he once saved your life, and this would be the perfect chance to pay him back. However, you may never be able to findyour perfect dream lover again. The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had no trouble coming up with his answer.
He simply answered: "I would give the car keys to my old friend, andlet him take the lady to the hospital. I would stay behind and wait forthe bus with the woman of my dreams.
" Never forget to "Think Outside of the Box."
You are driving along in your car on a wild, stormy night. You pass by a bus stop, and you see three people waiting for the bus:
1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.
2. An old friend who once saved your life.
3. The perfect man (or) woman you have been dreaming about.
Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing that therecould only be one passenger in your car. Think before you continue reading. This is a moral/ethical dilemmathat was once actually used as part of a job application. You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to die, and thus you should save her first; or you could take the old friend because he once saved your life, and this would be the perfect chance to pay him back. However, you may never be able to findyour perfect dream lover again. The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had no trouble coming up with his answer.
He simply answered: "I would give the car keys to my old friend, andlet him take the lady to the hospital. I would stay behind and wait forthe bus with the woman of my dreams.
" Never forget to "Think Outside of the Box."
SURE YOU WILL LAUGH
somebody share this with me. Here how the story goes.....
An old man was sitting on a bench at the mall.
A teenager sat down next to him.
He had spiked hair that was
red, orange, yellow, green, blue & violet.
The old man stared.
Whenever the teen looked, the old man was staring.
Finally, the teenager said sarcastically : "What's the matter,
old boy, never done anything wild in your life?"
Without missing a beat the old man replied :" Got drunk once
and had sex with a peacock.
Just wondering if you were my son."
An old man was sitting on a bench at the mall.
A teenager sat down next to him.
He had spiked hair that was
red, orange, yellow, green, blue & violet.
The old man stared.
Whenever the teen looked, the old man was staring.
Finally, the teenager said sarcastically : "What's the matter,
old boy, never done anything wild in your life?"
Without missing a beat the old man replied :" Got drunk once
and had sex with a peacock.
Just wondering if you were my son."
LIFE IS A GIFT
There was a blind girl who hated herself just because she's blind. She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He's always there for her.
She said that if she could only see the world, she would marry her boyfriend. One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her and then she can see everything, including her boyfriend.
Her boyfriend asked her, "now that you can see the world, will you marry me?" The girl was shocked when she saw that her boyfriend is blind too, and refused to marry him.
Her boyfriend walked away in tears, and later wrote a letter to her saying. "Just take care of my eyes dear." This is how human mental thoughts changes when their status changed. Only few remember what life was before, and who's always been there even in the most painful situations.
Life Is A Gift Today before you think of saying an unkind word Think of someone who can't speak. Before you complain about the taste of your food Think of someone who has nothing to eat.
Before you complain about your husband or wife Think of someone who's crying out to God for a companion. Today before you complain about life Think of someone who went too early to heaven.
Before you complain about your children Think of someone who desires children but they're barren.
Before you argue about your dirty house, someone didn't clean or sweep Think of the people who are living in the streets.
Before whining about the distance you drive Think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet.
And when you are tired and complain about your job Think of the unemployed, the disabled and those who wished they had your job.
But before you think of pointing the finger or condemning another Remember that not one of us are without sin and we all answer to one maker.
And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down Put a smile on your face and thank God you're alive and still around.
Life is a gift
Live it Enjoy it
Celebrate it
She said that if she could only see the world, she would marry her boyfriend. One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her and then she can see everything, including her boyfriend.
Her boyfriend asked her, "now that you can see the world, will you marry me?" The girl was shocked when she saw that her boyfriend is blind too, and refused to marry him.
Her boyfriend walked away in tears, and later wrote a letter to her saying. "Just take care of my eyes dear." This is how human mental thoughts changes when their status changed. Only few remember what life was before, and who's always been there even in the most painful situations.
Life Is A Gift Today before you think of saying an unkind word Think of someone who can't speak. Before you complain about the taste of your food Think of someone who has nothing to eat.
Before you complain about your husband or wife Think of someone who's crying out to God for a companion. Today before you complain about life Think of someone who went too early to heaven.
Before you complain about your children Think of someone who desires children but they're barren.
Before you argue about your dirty house, someone didn't clean or sweep Think of the people who are living in the streets.
Before whining about the distance you drive Think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet.
And when you are tired and complain about your job Think of the unemployed, the disabled and those who wished they had your job.
But before you think of pointing the finger or condemning another Remember that not one of us are without sin and we all answer to one maker.
And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down Put a smile on your face and thank God you're alive and still around.
Life is a gift
Live it Enjoy it
Celebrate it
CONMAN @ AXS OR SAM .... PLEASE CHECK YOUR PAYMENT BILLS
Beware of conman when using AXS or SAM machine, coz my friend fell intothetrap..
Dear frens,
juz want to share an encounter from a friend...
Especially for those who pay your monthly bills through S.A.M or AXS machine. And do help to pass itonto your frens around you before they fall into the trap.I was queuing behind a guy who is using the S.A.M machine an he is takinghis own sweet time.
But I did take a look at why is he taking such a longtime, coz he keep pressing the "previous menu" button.Then he decided to let me use first.So when I used it, the screen already show the main menu page. I proceedwith my transaction and pay the bill using my ATM card. Luckily i have thishabit of taking a look at my reciept, found that how come the total amountis so much. I go through the list of bills I pay and found that i have paidone that is not mine. So i turn around and look, the guy who was usingbefore me, use the machine again, keying in the same amount. I approach himand told him, I have paid his bill. So i say wait while i call thehotline number on the machine for help. While i was on the phone, the guy juz quietly walk away, went to the AXS machine not far away.
I have no prove if he did it on purpose, but I gut feeling tells me otherwise... after he's done on the AXS machine, there were 2 guys using it, iwent forward remind them to check their receipt. Imagine, if this is true, he mightbe using the trick every month, people are paying his bills for him. By right, he should have cancel the transaction or exit but instead he keep on pressing the "previous menu" button until it reach the main menu page...Moral of the story, check the summary shown on the screen before youproceed with the payment, always check your receipt, if it happens, callthe hotline on the machine. They will do a refund for you by cheque.Please pass this on...
You dun want your frens to fall into this trap .
Dear frens,
juz want to share an encounter from a friend...
Especially for those who pay your monthly bills through S.A.M or AXS machine. And do help to pass itonto your frens around you before they fall into the trap.I was queuing behind a guy who is using the S.A.M machine an he is takinghis own sweet time.
But I did take a look at why is he taking such a longtime, coz he keep pressing the "previous menu" button.Then he decided to let me use first.So when I used it, the screen already show the main menu page. I proceedwith my transaction and pay the bill using my ATM card. Luckily i have thishabit of taking a look at my reciept, found that how come the total amountis so much. I go through the list of bills I pay and found that i have paidone that is not mine. So i turn around and look, the guy who was usingbefore me, use the machine again, keying in the same amount. I approach himand told him, I have paid his bill. So i say wait while i call thehotline number on the machine for help. While i was on the phone, the guy juz quietly walk away, went to the AXS machine not far away.
I have no prove if he did it on purpose, but I gut feeling tells me otherwise... after he's done on the AXS machine, there were 2 guys using it, iwent forward remind them to check their receipt. Imagine, if this is true, he mightbe using the trick every month, people are paying his bills for him. By right, he should have cancel the transaction or exit but instead he keep on pressing the "previous menu" button until it reach the main menu page...Moral of the story, check the summary shown on the screen before youproceed with the payment, always check your receipt, if it happens, callthe hotline on the machine. They will do a refund for you by cheque.Please pass this on...
You dun want your frens to fall into this trap .
Saturday, January 20, 2007
FUNNY CALL CENTRE CONVERSATIONS
Customer: "I've been ringing 0700 2300 for two days and can't get through to enquiries, can you help?". Operator: "Where did you get that number from, sir?".
Customer: "It was on the door to the Travel Centre". Operator: "Sir, they are our opening hours".
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Samsung Electronics Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?" Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about".
Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?"
Operator: "I think you mean the telephone point on the wall".
----------------------------------------------------------------------
RAC Motoring Services Caller: "Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in Australia?"
Operator: " Doesn't the product name give you a clue?"
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France):
"If I register my car in France, do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?"
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Directory Enquiries Caller: "I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please".
Operator: "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?"
Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off".
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator: "Woven? Are you sure?"
Caller: "Yes. That's what it says on the label; Woven in Scotland ".
----------------------------------------------------------------------
On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator: "I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on".
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop".
Customer: "OK". Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?". Customer: "No".
Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No".
Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?".
Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'".
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Tech Support: "OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"
Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Caller: "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file backagain?".
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired.
This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause".
Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!):
Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?" Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
Operator: "What sort of trouble??"
Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.
" Operator: "Went away?"
Caller: "They disappeared."
Operator: "Hmm So what does your screen look like now?"
Caller: "Nothing."
Operator: "Nothing??"
Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"
Caller: "How do I tell?"
Operator: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??"
Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"
Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
Caller: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"
Caller: "What's a monitor?" Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??"
Caller: "I don't know."
Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??"
Caller: "Yes, I think so."
Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.
Caller: "Yes, it is."
Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??"
Caller: "No." Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."
Caller: "Okay, here it is." Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."
Caller: "I can't reach."
Operator: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??"
Caller: "No."
Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??"
Caller: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."
Operator: "Dark??"
Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window. "
Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."
Caller: "I can't." Operator: "No? Why not??"
Caller: "Because there's a power failure." Operator: "A power......... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??"
Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.
" Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?" Operator:
"Yes, I'm afraid it is."
Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??"
Operator: "Tell them you're too f*%ing stupid to own a computer!!!!!"
Customer: "It was on the door to the Travel Centre". Operator: "Sir, they are our opening hours".
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Samsung Electronics Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?" Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about".
Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?"
Operator: "I think you mean the telephone point on the wall".
----------------------------------------------------------------------
RAC Motoring Services Caller: "Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in Australia?"
Operator: " Doesn't the product name give you a clue?"
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France):
"If I register my car in France, do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?"
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Directory Enquiries Caller: "I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please".
Operator: "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?"
Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off".
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator: "Woven? Are you sure?"
Caller: "Yes. That's what it says on the label; Woven in Scotland ".
----------------------------------------------------------------------
On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator: "I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on".
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop".
Customer: "OK". Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?". Customer: "No".
Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No".
Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?".
Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'".
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Tech Support: "OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"
Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Caller: "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file backagain?".
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired.
This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause".
Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!):
Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?" Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
Operator: "What sort of trouble??"
Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.
" Operator: "Went away?"
Caller: "They disappeared."
Operator: "Hmm So what does your screen look like now?"
Caller: "Nothing."
Operator: "Nothing??"
Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"
Caller: "How do I tell?"
Operator: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??"
Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"
Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
Caller: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"
Caller: "What's a monitor?" Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??"
Caller: "I don't know."
Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??"
Caller: "Yes, I think so."
Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.
Caller: "Yes, it is."
Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??"
Caller: "No." Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."
Caller: "Okay, here it is." Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."
Caller: "I can't reach."
Operator: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??"
Caller: "No."
Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??"
Caller: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."
Operator: "Dark??"
Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window. "
Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."
Caller: "I can't." Operator: "No? Why not??"
Caller: "Because there's a power failure." Operator: "A power......... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??"
Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.
" Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?" Operator:
"Yes, I'm afraid it is."
Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??"
Operator: "Tell them you're too f*%ing stupid to own a computer!!!!!"
WHERE TO TAP
Ever heard the story of the giant ship engine that failed? The ship's owners tried one expert after another, but none of them could figure but how to fix the engine. Then they brought in an old man who had been fixing ships since he was a youngster. He carried a large bag of tools with him, and when he arrived, he immediately went to work. He inspected the engine very carefully, top to bottom. Two of the ship's owners were there, watching this man, hoping he would know what to do. After looking things over, the old man reached into his bag and pulled out a small hammer. He gently tapped something. Instantly, the engine lurched into life. He carefully put his hammer away. The engine was fixed!
A week later, the owners received a bill from the old man for $10,000. "What?!" the owners exclaimed. "He hardly did anything!" So they wrote the old man a note saying, "Please send us an itemized bill."
The man sent an itemized bill that read:
Tapping with a hammer ........................... $ 2.00
Knowing where to tap ............................ $ 9,998.00
Effort is important, but knowing where to make an effort in your work or life makes all the difference.
A week later, the owners received a bill from the old man for $10,000. "What?!" the owners exclaimed. "He hardly did anything!" So they wrote the old man a note saying, "Please send us an itemized bill."
The man sent an itemized bill that read:
Tapping with a hammer ........................... $ 2.00
Knowing where to tap ............................ $ 9,998.00
Effort is important, but knowing where to make an effort in your work or life makes all the difference.
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